she changed after a single question?

May 15th, 2010 | by admin |

it all started about 3 months ago, we met at a friends house and ended up kissing each other and it took off from there. she came over and we started hanging out and sharing life's differences and getting to know each other more and more, realizing how opposite we actually were lol. about a month later we started dating and everything couldn't have been better. im learning so much from her and vice versa, we teach each other so much everyday and it keeps going. shes the first girl to hold off on telling me that she loved me. i was surprised but when we did say i love you, i got butterflies in my stomach and everything just felt so perfect.

well about a week ago after having another great day and things were really looking up and i started actually picturing this woman as my wife. she has always texted or called me when she got there before she went to bed. well she texted me and said "do you think there's a difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone?" i replied back explaining yes there is, and that i didn't "Just" love her i was "IN Love" with her when she asked, but then i got worried and asked if something was wrong and that maybe i wasn't fulfilling my end of the deal. i asked her if maybe i wasn't being generous enough or if i was doing something wrong that would make her think that i wasn't actually IN love with her. i asked her if she was in love with me and she said "Well duh, cant you tell lol" so i don't think it was too bad and of course i can. well ever since that day shes been acting strange, like when we go to the mall to walk around or just sit and watch tv is like shes my best friend, not my girlfriend. she would always stand close to me at the mall and i would be able to hold her when we bought food or just to look at something, and when we walked somewhere she would always hold my hand. well i noticed her acting a little weird and i thought maybe its just a phase or something, but shes completely different, like maybe now that she knows im IN love with her she feels like she wont lose me and that maybe she just has to be there now? or maybe now that she knows im in love with her that everything will just be easy now, when i know that's not true. i mean im a guy and i cant help but run a million things through my head on what it could be even though what im thinking is probably like 2000% off of what is actually happening. i also kinda feel like maybe shes hiding something from me, something she wont tell me. she told me about how shes good at hiding things from her friends and how you could tell if she was and all that, so its just seems so irrational that i wouldn't be able to tell but im confused, i just dont understand where my sweet, beautiful, loving, caring, girlfriend went?
try just skimming it lol, i know its long. sorry
im starting to think that maybe, now that she knows its real and that she actually does love me that she is afraid of losing me and its all she thinks about, how would i reassure her of it?
well now im starting to think that maybe the reason she asked that question is because she wants someone else and don't wanna hurt me. like maybe theres another guy somewhere or something?

Sounds like she might be playing games. But you should ask her, talk to her about how she's acting different towards you. If she doesn't give you a straight answer, then let her go. Find someone who isn't into mind games. Life's too short.

You'll drive yourself nuts trying to guess at it. Talk to her.

My fiance is Thai and I have a hard time relating (vise-versa) to his parents; I need help!

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  1. 23 Responses to “she changed after a single question?”

  2. By Pro Janitor on May 15, 2010 | Reply

    Paragraphs are your friend.

    Anyway, see how a woman changes when she becomes your girlfriend? Imagine how much she’d change upon marriage; it’s just a fact of life.

    When the mystery disappears between two people, the theme of the relationship changes. Doesn’t this remind you of getting bored with a toy you once had?
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    Drain Bamaged

  3. By bethelblaster10 on May 15, 2010 | Reply

    ok if really think someone is gonna read all of that ur crazy
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  4. By gabriel w on May 15, 2010 | Reply

    pms
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  5. By Unidentified :) on May 15, 2010 | Reply

    Don’t worry about it. You’re early in this relationship so just give her some space and then she will come running back to you.
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  6. By Jack S on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    shes doin all your friends
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  7. By Haley :] on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    im not sure what to tell you, all i have as advice is to talk to her about it , and try not to get her upset. but just ask if there is something bothering her or tell her you think she is acting different.

    good luck
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  8. By Grinagog on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    Sounds like she might be playing games. But you should ask her, talk to her about how she’s acting different towards you. If she doesn’t give you a straight answer, then let her go. Find someone who isn’t into mind games. Life’s too short.

    You’ll drive yourself nuts trying to guess at it. Talk to her.
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  9. By Sarah Alt. on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    Forget what everyone else is saying, confront her!
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  10. By mexican gingggger. on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    xD Lol i dont like reading but .. Have you really talked about it with her?
    When you ask her. Dont say theres something wrong with you.
    Ask her why she’s been acting different.
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  11. By tazdoll16 on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    I think the best thing you could do would be just to sit her down and ask. Don’t "accuse" and say that you hate it all (even if you do!) but merely her, in a private setting with no distractions, that you’ve noticed a change in her behavior. Ask her if there’s something on her mind she wants to share or not share… and let he know that you’re there for her and you love her regardless…

    She might just have something on her mind other than you (and I dont’ mean that in a mean way), and it’s throwing her off.
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  12. By manninglvr10 on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    You should just tell her exactly what u just said and see what she says!! If she gets upset or mad then obviously things rnt going 2 work out. Hope I could help!!!
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    My lifeeee

  13. By [{in love}] -*with*- ♥→YOU←♥ at on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    I agree with that other girl who answered your question. "Unidentified"

    i think that now that she knows your actually IN love with her, she wants to make sure everything goes right from here on out and maybe she wants to make sure she is actually IN love with you.

    but i think that this is completely normal in new and forming relationships. =P

    GOOD LUCK!
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  14. By Pretty Smile on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    Seems like after saying you’re IN LOVE with her, she’s scared away. She’s either not "in love" with you but just cares for you or she has someone else and is trying to figure out what she wants to do. No other reason for her to distance herself
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  15. By No Way Jose! on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    Sounds like she is not in as much of a hurry for a permanent relationship as you seem to be. By pushing the "in love" question you have basically put her in an awkward situation. Things were going along as they should until then; just back off a little and don’t be in such of a rush. Remember … Marry in haste, repent at leisure. You should still be focusing on having a good time at the moment, not building the lasting for ever and ever marriage.
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  16. By lily1130 on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    She is still there-I just think she just cannot express herself too clearly, be patient spend time really trying to talk to her to get her to feel that she can trust you with her feelings. she says she is good at hiding her feelings maybe cause she always had to and now doesn’t know how to trust. One thing you should never do is dissappoint her- one that happens her guard goes back up. You need to be reliable and someone she can depend on—Good Luck! she sounds like a keeper
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  17. By Mariah C on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    I can read and answer you :]
    Talking is the key to everything.
    Just ask her what happened, because at first she was loving and close but after she asked the love question, it was like you two became friends again.
    Compromising is what makes a relationship work, my boyfriend didn’t want to do somewhat passionate things and that pissed me off and I had some long conversations about it and we worked it out, we split what we both wanted. You need to tell your girlfriend that you want her to be the same person that she used to be- even if it’s just a little bit, that you feel like she’s not the same person you fell in love with. And she needs to tell you why she changed, and why she will or won’t change back or regain some of the same qualities.
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  18. By Render M on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    if i had to guess it sounds like you scared her off by telling her you were in love with her. depending on how old you are that is a very serious thing to tell your girlfriend and she might not feel as attached to you as you are to her. my point is i think you may have freaked her out by being so attached to her and saying you are in love with her. and its hard to tell if your in love with someone in only three months maybe you should try backing off a little.
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  19. By Jared on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    Ummm…I think the best thing to do is to just be forward. At least she’ll respect that. Because if something is wrong, and she thinks that you know there is and aren’t doing anything, it’ll just make things worse. I would just say, "hey, it feels like things are a little different between us lately. Is something wrong, or did I do something?…etc. Bueno Suerte
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  20. By husker_dee on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    Yes I read the whole thing. You don’t say how old you are but love can be a scary thing. Maybe you scared her when you told her you were "in love" with her and she’s pulling back. Three months is a awful short time to be falling in love with someone. Take it slow and if it’s meant to be it will happen. Talk to her and ask her if she thinks your moving a little to fast. You need to find out what she is feeling before you can move ahead. Good luck!
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  21. By Joanne K on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    You are WAY over thinking this . Give yourself a breather , stop over analyzing it all . When you see her next ask her whats going on if anything because this is how YOU feel . Not her necessarily as you are saying you are confused perhaps she was having an off day and not feeling cuddly or whatever but asking her probably will upset her so be prepared to tell her this is how you feel and that it is not an attack on her just your own uncertainties needing to be dealt with .
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  22. By Lovey on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    don’t be worried. yes i’m sure it is just a phase she’s going through. chances are she feels the exact same way you do and it scares her. maybe she doesn’t know how to handle her strong feelings for you especially when she knows you feel the same way. maybe she’s wondering….so what’s the next step? maybe marriage is going through her head and the thought of that is too much. i wouldn’t confront her about why she’s changed. i think it’s obvious why she’s changed and it’s ok for her to not know how to act. it was safer when you two were just buddies so why not treat you like a buddy. just talk to her about her thought and intentions of your future together. i’m sure she’s on yahoo answers asking people "my boyfriend just told me he’s in love with me and while i feel the same i just don’t know how to act what do i do???" haha…. she’ll be so relieved when it’s you she can open up to. and the same goes for you.

    i thought i’d be able to write more then you…oh well looks like you won :)
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  23. By Persian20 on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    Have you every heard the song more than words by extreme? Ok well if you haven’t listen to it. Basically it says, I shouldn’t have to tell you I love you, you should already know. If you are doubting her love then you are also doubting yours. Its not so much that she is afraid of it, but maybe she doesn’t like PDA. Yes she started off liking it, but people change. How do you reassure her, you hold her close while you are at home, look her in the eyes and tell her that she means the world to you, and you couldn’t be happier that you met her. Tell her she completes you, that even know you may be opposites at somethings, you are more like yin and yang, you complete each other. If she doesn’t want to touch in public then lay off of her, its nothing to worry about, you are worrying more than she is silly. Also she should be more than just your girlfriend, she should also be a best friend.
    Remember more than words. You shouldn’t always have to express how you feel, you should already know, and so should she.
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  24. By Aerondil on May 16, 2010 | Reply

    There are so many things that can be happening on her end. She could not really feel the same way to you and was scared off. Maybe she just doesn’t know how to act now that it is out in the open. Maybe she has some guy on the side and feels guilty. We have no way of knowing. There is one thing you can do to answer your question, ask her, not us.

    A few weeks ago I was having my own lady troubles and posted on Y!A for some advice. I did get some decent advice that helped me out a bit. But what really hit me hard was when she IMed me asking if I always got my relationship advice from the internet. My heart stopped. I panicked a bit. She had found my post where I had spilled my heart and knew everything I was thinking. Turns out that was the best thing that could have happened.

    She asked me why I couldn’t just come to her and talk about it. Things had been awkward between us for a little while and I didn’t know how to approach her. So she told me to talk to her about it the next time I saw her. I did, and now we are both happy. No more awkward, no more confusion. Things are how they should be. And wanna know the greatest part? All of the advice I got on Y!A was helpful, but so far off the mark it would have killed me.

    The moral of the story is that in situations like this the only answer that is truly going to help you out is the one she gives you when you talk to her. Just talk to her about it. Tell her that you enjoyed what you had and that you really care for her and now it has changed and you want to know why. Don’t be a creep about it and profess your love for her and kiss her feet. Be respectful and honest and open with her and she will return the favor.

    Do yourself a favor and talk to her.

    BTW: read the whole thing and skimmed the answers.
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